The Dreamscapes Project

some nights I wonder why I'm so bent on perfection some nights I wonder why I'm afraid to leave my home some nights I wonder why I feed on this attention some nights I wonder why in a room full of people I feel so alone some nights I wonder why its so hard to keep breathing and some nights I wonder why I cannot fall asleep some nights I wonder why I wake up drenched in screaming some nights I take a step back and realize its just me and maybe if I'd been better my father wouldn't have left me for a child he lusted after and wanted more and maybe if I'd eaten less my mother wouldn't have spent her money that she always seemed to work so god damn hard for and the love was gone years ago but for some reason still I'm here and it wasn't worth keeping but for some reason still I'm here and if we're all defined by the elements that made us well tell me how does it feel to have a son that died so young some nights I wonder when these wounds will just stop bleeding and some nights I wonder why they're even there at all and some nights I wonder why it has to hurt to be called healing some nights I wonder why some nights I wonder why some nights I wonder why the cup is half empty just need a smaller glass I left all my journals empty to help forget the past and I'd like to trade all my good karma for what's behind door number two because sometimes it doesn't matter if it's better as long as it's new this will not bring me down will rise above don't need to teach me how for me to know how to love and with any luck hope will rain down and I will look up because I'm ready to drown